In 2009, I learned that there was no realistic way my best friend would ever be able to become a father -- his greatest desire in life. I decided then that I would offer to be a surrogate for him (which didn’t sound realistic at the time). A year later, I made that offer. He accepted, and in Nov. 2011 I got pregnant.

I’m writing this blog because I’m not the typical surrogate. For one, in the terms of the trade, I’m an altruistic traditional surrogate (I’m unpaid and the egg is mine) with a totally open arrangement with the dads. Most importantly, though, this is my first pregnancy (NO ONE thinks this is a good idea; most surrogates already have their own kids).

Also, we’re all gay, so this is going to be the gayest baby ever.*

- The Deputy

*Except for the children of those many, many other sets of three or more gays who decided to combine their powers to procreate...

February 14, 2012

Ode to my belly

Oh dearly loved nearly flat abdomen,
I am counting the days till I see you again.
They say you are leaving,
Oh how I am grieving!
If you don't come back I'll hit a bitch.


  1. Oh my GAWD....I have so much to say. Thank you for commenting on my blog. It led me here to your page and I am SO glad for this!

    First, you kick ass at writing. Seriously.

    Second, I love what you're doing and who you're doing it for. Super awesome.

    Third, your attitude and sense of humor are going to keep me incredibly entertained for the next 7 months, and hopefully longer. Thank you in advance for that.

    Will you pretty please add a follow button to your blog? This way I won't have to bookmark your page and will instead get updates on your posts straight to my blogger dashboard. Perhaps this request indicates I'm lazy. It's true.

    And to answer your question about breast feeding...I did not provide breast milk for the guys. We discussed it and in the end, the guys chose to formula feed. I didn't nurse my own children, (I have booby issues...I love them) and they turned out just fine. Super cute, smart and we bonded just as much as any of my breast feeding friends did with their babies. I know MANY surrogates who pump for the parents. I believe to each his own. It's all about whatever YOU guys decide is best for YOU.

    Great to "meet" you! Very much looking forward to following your journey.

  2. Thanks so much, Jeni! I think I got the follow button up now... still new to this blogging thing!

    This is a pretty wild ride, and it's great to connect to people who have had similar experiences. Do you follow any surrogates who are super close to the IPs? Like, siblings or something? I keep hearing this is common, but I don't see any of them out there!


    This is the only blog that I know of where a gal is carrying for her brother and his wife. Their first transfer was not successful, so their journey is just beginning.

    It is a wild ride. Know that there are more of us out here than you'd think! You've got a pretty unique scenario, but there are lots of us out here who get it. Having a support system is a great part of this experience. Would you mind if I shared your blog on mine?

  4. Oops! Sorry for not getting on this! bad blogger...

    Please do share my blog! I don't know any surrogates personally and I'm eager to hear about the challenges surrogates face, and the best ways to deal with them!