In 2009, I learned that there was no realistic way my best friend would ever be able to become a father -- his greatest desire in life. I decided then that I would offer to be a surrogate for him (which didn’t sound realistic at the time). A year later, I made that offer. He accepted, and in Nov. 2011 I got pregnant.

I’m writing this blog because I’m not the typical surrogate. For one, in the terms of the trade, I’m an altruistic traditional surrogate (I’m unpaid and the egg is mine) with a totally open arrangement with the dads. Most importantly, though, this is my first pregnancy (NO ONE thinks this is a good idea; most surrogates already have their own kids).

Also, we’re all gay, so this is going to be the gayest baby ever.*

- The Deputy

*Except for the children of those many, many other sets of three or more gays who decided to combine their powers to procreate...

April 19, 2012

Q: Would you mind if I linked your blog through mine?

Hi! No, I'd be delighted to be linked up anywhere -- it gives me a nice feeling of validation :)

I have to post this as a blog entry because my little question box is anonymous, so this is my only way of getting back to people who contact me through it. So now I've put a note on it: leave your email if you want a private response -->

Also, this person was specifically asking about my 'fetus size' posts. They are all conveniently organized with a 'fetus size' label, and can be found grouped together here!

April 18, 2012

Pregnant and dating: Part I

This is part I in a three part installment of how surrogacy has affected my dating life. Think of this as the prequel.

Though I hatched this surrogacy plan a while back, it was nebulous for a long time and I wasn't taking it into account in my life plans, and definitely not in my dating plans. When I started seeing Hotshot a bit over a year ago, pregnancy was the last thing on my mind. I was fresh out of a frustrating relationship, and for a few months she and I epitomized casual dating. After a while, though, feelings took root and we started using the 'girlfriend' word. It was only a couple of months after that that Winchester, Wolfram and I finalized our plans. 

April 17, 2012

22-23 week fetus

This week I'm doing a combined entry, as says that at 22 weeks the fetus is slightly less than 11in, and at 23 weeks it's slightly more than 11in (and I can't think in increments that small) and weighs about a pound. They put this at about the length of a spaghetti squash, and then the weight of a large mango (but if you've ever seen an 11 inch mango let me know -- they are my favorite!!).
But any time you tell me 11 inches, all I can think of is what surrounds me in all of my student life. 8 1/2 x 11 paper. 100 sheets is a pound!

April 6, 2012

First pregnancy surrogacy: fertility loss

I've been scanning surrogacy forums looking for other women who have been surrogates for their first pregnancies, because I believe there are some unique and very interesting aspects to our experience. In my search, however, I've found that people, especially those with experience with surrogacy, have VERY strong feelings against first pregnancy surrogacies. I knew it was ill advised, but it seems people are personally, as well as professionally, against it. This post is the first in a series that will explore the arguments against first pregnancy surrogacy.

I think the very best argument against it is that among the many medical risks involved in any pregnancy, is fertility loss. Any woman who wants to be a surrogate must accept that this pregnancy could be her last.

I've said before that I want to preserve my last fertile years for myself, but I don't mean that to imply that I don't recognize how real the possibility is that I might lose my fertility in this first pregnancy, the fruit of which is not mine. This didn't stop me largely because I'm gay, and so my relationships all have two uteri!

April 5, 2012

21 week fetus

This week, compares the fetus to a carrot. A rather large, 12 oz & 10.5 inch carrot. I, however, prefer to imagine a size 9.5 men's shoe curled up sweetly in my uterus.