Q: I'm considering volunteering for a family member, and it would be my first. Like you, I don't want children any time soon. Were you able to find resources about the possibility of losing your own fertility? I truly think I would be okay with it, but I obviously have no way of knowing for sure.

Hi there! Thanks so much for asking this question. I had frankly no idea how to answer this, so I asked for the help of Certified Nurse Midwife Colleen Kennedy, who was kind enough to offer her expertise! She writes:

As a Certified Nurse Midwife I think about only two things when it comes to fertility - age and underlying issues that cause infertility.  With that in mind, when I first heard that there was a question about future fertility when a woman chooses to be a surrogate for her first pregnancy I thought there wasn’t a whole lot tying the two together.  However, upon further thought and research these are the issues that could come up if surrogacy was chosen for your first pregnancy.

Lecture on Surrogacy

My good friend and doula, Mitsy, just happens to be teaching a course this summer on the Sociology of Human Reproduction at the university where she and I are grad students. She invited me to come talk about surrogacy (because how convenient - I happen to be a surrogate!!). She was just asking me talk a little about my personal experience, but the academic in me took over and I delved into the topic in a little more detail than... uh... she was expecting (I TALKED FOR 2 HOURS!!!).

It was a fantastic experience. I love the perspective I get from reading surrogacy blogs, but there's a part of me that yearns for large scale surveys and the numbers they produce. It turns out, these are out there. I strongly encourage anyone interested to check out the papers I list on my last slide (or contact me if you have trouble finding them).

Also, the response from the students was great. Mitsy had clearly nurtured a great academic environment, because the students were engaged, well-informed, interested and never hesitant to ask (even quite personal!) questions or express their opinions.

I'm indebted to several bloggers who let me use materials from their blogs:

Jeni, at Love Makes A Family
Michelle, at My Belly, Their Baby
Tiffany and Natalie at A Belly For Me, A Baby For You

First pregnancy surrogacy: fertility loss

I've been scanning surrogacy forums looking for other women who have been surrogates for their first pregnancies, because I believe there are some unique and very interesting aspects to our experience. In my search, however, I've found that people, especially those with experience with surrogacy, have VERY strong feelings against first pregnancy surrogacies. I knew it was ill advised, but it seems people are personally, as well as professionally, against it. This post is the first in a series that will explore the arguments against first pregnancy surrogacy.

I think the very best argument against it is that among the many medical risks involved in any pregnancy, is fertility loss. Any woman who wants to be a surrogate must accept that this pregnancy could be her last.

I've said before that I want to preserve my last fertile years for myself, but I don't mean that to imply that I don't recognize how real the possibility is that I might lose my fertility in this first pregnancy, the fruit of which is not mine. This didn't stop me largely because I'm gay, and so my relationships all have two uteri!